Thirty-two

Those forgotten words.
They couldn't be mine, could they?
The thing is, they are.

A few weeks ago, I posted a quote I had found on Pinterest. The reason it seemed so familiar at the time was because a few weeks prior to that, I had posted the same quote to a different board.

I keep a "secret words" board on my Pinterest account. I do this for a few reasons. One is that my "baby" cousin follows me and there are things that I occasionally find humorous that are not appropriate for a middle schooler. A second is that I am going to be searching and applying for jobs here in the next few months, and if any potential employer searches my name, my Pinterest page is probably going to show up since my last name is not particularly common, and I wouldn't want anything questionable to appear. Not that anything I would post is wrong in and of itself, but there are certain things you don't make visible to potential employers. That, truly, is part of why I have never specifically said what it is that I am school for and why I don't post pictures on here, at least not personal ones. There are people in my life that know that I have a blog. There are people in my life that know the web address of this blog, and that is fine. There are also people in my life that I would never want to have access to this blog because of how personal some of the things I post are. That being said, that's a third reason why I have a secret Pin board. Sometimes I will find quotes that are relevant to me that strike a chord, but I don't necessarily want to publicly admit they do so, if that makes sense. I don't know. That is probably me being weird, but I stand by my first two reasons and I think that either of them in and of themselves are legitimate reasons to have a private board.

Back to my story. I was looking through the quotes I had posted on my "secret words" board earlier today, and saw that quote. Of course I loved it again, and then I looked at the description that was written. I didn't recall writing it, but I also almost always rewrite descriptions unless I am pinning straight from a website. Suffice it to say that the description on this particular quote was one that I would have changed.

This is what I said,

"This is why I have stopped looking. I am happier now than I have been in a long time, and my relationship status has nothing to do with that."

I had no recollection of writing that, but it turns out, those words are mine. It seems ironic given that my last two haikus both involved some sort of something or another about relationships. The truth is that I am fine with where I am at, but I also know that where I am at now is not where I want to be for the long haul. At some point, I will have to make some sort of a change. As one of my friends used to tell me, a guy isn't just going to show up at my door one day and ask to get married. Of course, if he did, that would be creepy, and I would probably call the police, but I digress.

There is beauty in today. There is beauty in every day. It doesn't mean that it happens the way I expect it to or picture it. What it does mean is that I allow myself to live my life. Life doesn't begin when I get a "real" job, get married, or have babies. Life is what is happening now. I have to live right now.

I want to live right now.