You know how sometimes you just need something? A cup of coffee, a really long and really hot shower, a full 8 hours of sleep, a piece of chocolate, you name it. Right now, I really just need to talk to my best friend. Nothing is wrong. Nothing has happened. I'm fine. Life is good. I just miss him. And I need to talk to him.
I have realized over the last few days that I go through really weird phases of wanting a relationship and not wanting one. I'll go a while thinking (knowing) that right now is not the right time to start a relationship. Not that it matters much anyway because there aren't any prospects anywhere on the horizon. Other times, though, I have a need and a desire for that closeness. Part of that is that we were designed to be relational. Part of it is me being silly and comparing myself to the other people in my life that are all in relationships. Maybe not all, but it sure as gravy seems like it. I enjoy my independence, don't get me wrong. I appreciate this time in my life knowing that after I graduate and once I (hopefully) get married and have babies, I will never ever have the freedom I do now again. I know at points I will miss that freedom and independence and I don't at all want to wish away what I have now, but I would be lying like nobody's business if I said I wasn't ready to settle down sometimes, too. I would be lying if I said I didn't worry, or maybe not worry, but wonder if I will ever have that. I have had people tell me that God wouldn't have given me that desire if He didn't intend to fulfill it, but I also know that God sometimes has a tendency to do things way differently than planned. I have the trust that if there is something different that it is something that will ultimately be better, but sometimes in my own near-sightededness, it's difficult not to say that I want things just to go my way.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
Wedding Emergency Kit
With brother 2 and sister-in-law 2's wedding coming up in less than six weeks, I started thinking about her emergency kit. As of right now, I don't think she has a MOH (Really, REALLY long story that I won't get into, but if I use the words "family drama," I'm sure that will give you a general idea). I don't know if I can realistically make one and get it there since we are flying and because they can be expensive to put together, but we'll see. I guess I should find out if somebody is making her one (or if she's even thought about it!). I made one last May when one of my friends was getting married, and while I was able to find a few lists, none of them seemed comprehensive enough for me, so I kept the list of the one I made for her. I have pictures of the kit on my old phone. I'll post them eventually. I hope. Okay, it was only one picture, but here it is!
Anyway, here is my list. Categorized and alphabetized for your viewing pleasure.
To be honest, very few of these things were used. I know tampons, mints, lotion, and various medicines were the ones that were used most. A lot of the stuff I already had or got from the dollar/travel section at grocery stores/target.
Obviously, this is not the best picture ever. And obviously this wedding emergency kit is on the large side.
Anyway, here is my list. Categorized and alphabetized for your viewing pleasure.
Clothing
-Baby
powder
-Chalk
(white) (covers up grease)
-Double-sided
garment tape
-Earring
backs
-Iron
-Lint
roller
-Safety
pins
-Scissors
-Sewing
kit
-Shoe
padding foam
-Static
spray
-Tide
to go
-Thread to match the bridesmaids dresses
-White
thread
Nails
-Clear
nail polish
-Nail
clippers
-Nail
file
-Nail
polish remover
-Tweezers
-White
nail polish
Hair
-Blow
dryer
-Bobbypins
-Brush
-Comb
-Curling
iron
-Hair
elastics (brown and clear)
-Hair
spray
-Straightener
Teeth/Mouth
-Dental
floss
-Mouth
wash/bathroom cups
-Straws (keeps lipstick in better condition)
-Wisp
toothbrushes
Medicine
-Aleve
-Asprin
-Cough
drops
-Dayquil
capsules
-Excedrin
back and body
-Ibuprofin
-Immodium
-Midol
-Neosporin
-Pepto-bismol
tablets
-Tums
-Tylenol
Personal
-Band-aids
-Carmex
-Chapstick
-Contact
solution
-Cotton
balls
-Deodorant
-Disposable
razors
-Dry
shaving cream
-Eye-drops
-Facial
wipes
-Hand
sanitizer
-Heating
pad
-Liners
-Lotion
-Make
up remover wipes
-Oil
blotting sheets
-Pads
-Tampons
-Tissues
-Q-tips
-Wet
ones
Edible things
-Bottles of water
-Dark
chocolate
-Granola
bars
-Gum
-Mints
-Protein
bars
-Snickers
Etc.
-Crazy
glue
-Duct
tape
-Flashlight
-Notebook/pens
-Packing
tape
-Paper
towels
-Umbrella
To be honest, very few of these things were used. I know tampons, mints, lotion, and various medicines were the ones that were used most. A lot of the stuff I already had or got from the dollar/travel section at grocery stores/target.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Hello Winter
Oh, hello there. I wasn't expecting you to join us, winter. Especially since spring arrived last week. However, now that spring has returned from his extended vacation, you have evidently decided to get jealous and hit him over the head with your cold temperatures and gloomy days.
I do not appreciate that after a mostly snowless winter (we usually get less than 5 inches of snow/yr in this part of the country anyway), you decide that you regret your decision to let us forgo the snow, and are sending it later this week instead.
Just so we are clear, winter, this is not okay.
I don't mean to be rude, because sometimes I enjoy your crisp mornings and exceedingly blue skies that give me the opportunity to cuddle up and drink hot chocolate, but March is almost over, and it is time for you to go. Please don't take it personally winter, it's not you, it's me. My affinity for spring runs deep. If you go away, I promise that in about October, I will begin eagerly awaiting your arrival, but I can't await your arrival if you never leave.
I do love you, winter, but we need to take a break.
Love,
Spring loving Sarah
Friday, March 22, 2013
Coffee
I have never been much of a coffee drinker. I would drink the really ridiculously sweet Starbucks drinks (peppermint mocha, mmmmm), and that was about it.
And then I got a Keurig. And some really sweet creamer. And I became a coffee drinker. When I started weight watchers a few weeks back, that sort of halted it some because I didn't want to waste my points on coffee creamer. Because I didn't want to waste points on coffee creamer, I didn't want to buy any. This morning, well it was actually earlier this afternoon, I decided I wanted some coffee. The only creamer I had was questionable plus I was iffy on using it since I'm trying to go organic anyway, so I just used milk (even though the milk I have isn't organic). Oh, I miss the sweetness of coffee creamer. I ended up adding some vanilla extract and a tsp of sugar, which helped some, but it's just not the same.
I'm really ready to start eating more organically. I know it is going to be an adjustment, mostly to my wallet, but I know it will be better for me in the long term knowing that I am putting real food in my body.
And then I got a Keurig. And some really sweet creamer. And I became a coffee drinker. When I started weight watchers a few weeks back, that sort of halted it some because I didn't want to waste my points on coffee creamer. Because I didn't want to waste points on coffee creamer, I didn't want to buy any. This morning, well it was actually earlier this afternoon, I decided I wanted some coffee. The only creamer I had was questionable plus I was iffy on using it since I'm trying to go organic anyway, so I just used milk (even though the milk I have isn't organic). Oh, I miss the sweetness of coffee creamer. I ended up adding some vanilla extract and a tsp of sugar, which helped some, but it's just not the same.
I'm really ready to start eating more organically. I know it is going to be an adjustment, mostly to my wallet, but I know it will be better for me in the long term knowing that I am putting real food in my body.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Dear neighbor
Dear neighbor,
I understand that you like listening to music because I like listening to music as well. After a few months of sharing a wall with you, I have come to realize that our tastes in music vary drastically, but that is okay. Not everybody likes the same type of music. That would be boring. While I generally prefer to listen to my music moderately quietly, it has come to my attention that you prefer yours to be a tad bit louder. And by a tad bit, what I actually mean is that you enjoy listening to your music as loud as it can possibly be. If I didn't share a wall with you, I probably wouldn't really care, except for the concern I have for you as a fellow human being about the condition of your ears in a few years. However, because I do share a wall with you, your decision to play loud music on a consistent basis is not only annoying, frustrating, and keeps me from being productive. Also, because you share walls or floor/ceiling with at least two other apartments, I know this is not just having a negative impact on me. It has also kept me from being able to fall asleep on at least one occasion because you were playing loud music after midnight. Please be aware that if this is going to continue, which it appears that it is, I will be making a phone call to the apartment manager to speak to them about this ongoing issue.
Sincerely,
Sarah
P.S. Thank you for turning it down after I banged on your wall, and I am sorry that I am having to be passive aggressive about it, but when you choose to play music so loud that it could be heard in China, it does not leave me much of a choice.
I understand that you like listening to music because I like listening to music as well. After a few months of sharing a wall with you, I have come to realize that our tastes in music vary drastically, but that is okay. Not everybody likes the same type of music. That would be boring. While I generally prefer to listen to my music moderately quietly, it has come to my attention that you prefer yours to be a tad bit louder. And by a tad bit, what I actually mean is that you enjoy listening to your music as loud as it can possibly be. If I didn't share a wall with you, I probably wouldn't really care, except for the concern I have for you as a fellow human being about the condition of your ears in a few years. However, because I do share a wall with you, your decision to play loud music on a consistent basis is not only annoying, frustrating, and keeps me from being productive. Also, because you share walls or floor/ceiling with at least two other apartments, I know this is not just having a negative impact on me. It has also kept me from being able to fall asleep on at least one occasion because you were playing loud music after midnight. Please be aware that if this is going to continue, which it appears that it is, I will be making a phone call to the apartment manager to speak to them about this ongoing issue.
Sincerely,
Sarah
P.S. Thank you for turning it down after I banged on your wall, and I am sorry that I am having to be passive aggressive about it, but when you choose to play music so loud that it could be heard in China, it does not leave me much of a choice.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Spring break, eating organic, granola cups
Oh, where to start.
On Thursday, I made pound cake cupcakes. They were amazing, if I do say so myself. Pound cake with lemon glaze and lemon buttercream. I made some with mango buttercream as well. They were good too, but the lemon was better. Also, in case you are wondering, you can't use gel food coloring to dye chocolate. It's water based and makes the chocolate seize up. Not fun. Anyway, I finally was able to buy some colored chocolate wafers to make coral-ish chocolate. I'm not entirely sure when in the world I am going to find the time to make them for the wedding because I know both Friday and Saturday will be CRAZY, but we'll see.
I don't have any classes again this week because all of the professors are at the American Counseling Association conference. It's kind of nice, I guess, but it makes it hard to get back into school mode. Plus, when I think about how much I am spending on each class, the fact that they canceled class is a little frustrating, especially given that two of them are going to be cut short next week because of interviews for fall applicants. Oh well. There isn't really anything I can do about it.
After eating TERRIBLY last week, and yes I mean TERRIBLY, I'm back on top of eating like a person trying to lose weight should. I have also made the decision to start eating more healthfully. Not just cutting out all junk food (well, maybe not all, but most), but also eating things that are fresher and organic when I can. Right now, I'm trying to do anything that comes from an animal (so meat, dairy, and eggs) and the dirty dozen produce. Those are my big things, but I intend to eventually move into using organic (or at least more natural) baking supplies, bread/pasta, etc. I'm not throwing out anything I have that isn't organic by any means. It's wasteful, but also, I would be throwing out every piece of food I own except for the six boxes of Kashi cereal I won back in December and two boxes of Kashi granola bars. I'm pretty sure the rest of the food I have is normal. Nope, that's not true. I have some organic coconut oil. Anyway, it will be a gradual change. Right now, my goal is to eat about 30% or so organic/natural (I'm defining natural as something that can be purchased at the mini Whole Foods store that's about 10 minutes away). That might not be a good definition, but for right now, it's all I've got. There's another grocery store similar to Whole Foods as well as a Fresh Market, but they are both on the other side of town and it is completely unrealistic for me to expect to make it over there more than once or maybe twice a month.
I started out at my regular grocery store this morning just to see what was offered organic. Almost nothing. From produce, the only organics I saw were potatoes, apples, oranges, bananas, and leafy greens (spinach/various lettuces). Neither oranges nor bananas are foods that I intend to purchase organically. So basically, they had three kind of organic produce. The meat selection was worse. And by worse I mean non-existant. The store does not carry organic meat. Not they only have a limited selection. Not they only carry organic meat from a certain animal. Nope. They just don't carry it. There was a decent selection of organic milk, but I didn't find any organic cheese. They did have certified humane eggs, though. Eggs really are pretty cheap, so even if I'm spending $4 for a dozen, that's still only 25 cents for one egg. A 50 cent dinner.
Even though in some ways I feel like I have no idea what I am doing, I do know that this will eventually be a healthier way to live, even if it is more expensive. I also think it will cause me to waste less, because it is so expensive. I don't have a hard time throwing away half a bag of carrots that came from Aldi for less than a dollar. I don't think I can say the same for the bag I purchased for over twice that price. Those carrots will get gone.
This afternoon, I made some granola cups from a recipe my aunt gave me a few years ago. Most of the ingredients were not organic. Actually, I don't think any of them were. The dried fruit did come from Whole Foods, but that was it.
Mix together:
3 C oats (rolled, not instant)
1 C cereal (she recommended cheerios; I used cheerios medley because that was what I had)
1 C dried fruit (I used dried cranberries)
1 C toasted nuts (I used toasted almond slivers)
1/2 C mini chocolate chips
1/2 tsp kosher salt (I just used a pinch of regular salt)
1/2 Tbsp cinnamon
1/4 C melted butter
1 can fat free sweetened condensed milk
4 Tbsp peanut butter (this was my addition)
Once all ingredients are mixed, pour mixture into muffin pans that have liners that have been thoroughly sprayed with oil. Bake for 18 minutes. Makes about 24.
Yum.
On Thursday, I made pound cake cupcakes. They were amazing, if I do say so myself. Pound cake with lemon glaze and lemon buttercream. I made some with mango buttercream as well. They were good too, but the lemon was better. Also, in case you are wondering, you can't use gel food coloring to dye chocolate. It's water based and makes the chocolate seize up. Not fun. Anyway, I finally was able to buy some colored chocolate wafers to make coral-ish chocolate. I'm not entirely sure when in the world I am going to find the time to make them for the wedding because I know both Friday and Saturday will be CRAZY, but we'll see.
I don't have any classes again this week because all of the professors are at the American Counseling Association conference. It's kind of nice, I guess, but it makes it hard to get back into school mode. Plus, when I think about how much I am spending on each class, the fact that they canceled class is a little frustrating, especially given that two of them are going to be cut short next week because of interviews for fall applicants. Oh well. There isn't really anything I can do about it.
After eating TERRIBLY last week, and yes I mean TERRIBLY, I'm back on top of eating like a person trying to lose weight should. I have also made the decision to start eating more healthfully. Not just cutting out all junk food (well, maybe not all, but most), but also eating things that are fresher and organic when I can. Right now, I'm trying to do anything that comes from an animal (so meat, dairy, and eggs) and the dirty dozen produce. Those are my big things, but I intend to eventually move into using organic (or at least more natural) baking supplies, bread/pasta, etc. I'm not throwing out anything I have that isn't organic by any means. It's wasteful, but also, I would be throwing out every piece of food I own except for the six boxes of Kashi cereal I won back in December and two boxes of Kashi granola bars. I'm pretty sure the rest of the food I have is normal. Nope, that's not true. I have some organic coconut oil. Anyway, it will be a gradual change. Right now, my goal is to eat about 30% or so organic/natural (I'm defining natural as something that can be purchased at the mini Whole Foods store that's about 10 minutes away). That might not be a good definition, but for right now, it's all I've got. There's another grocery store similar to Whole Foods as well as a Fresh Market, but they are both on the other side of town and it is completely unrealistic for me to expect to make it over there more than once or maybe twice a month.
I started out at my regular grocery store this morning just to see what was offered organic. Almost nothing. From produce, the only organics I saw were potatoes, apples, oranges, bananas, and leafy greens (spinach/various lettuces). Neither oranges nor bananas are foods that I intend to purchase organically. So basically, they had three kind of organic produce. The meat selection was worse. And by worse I mean non-existant. The store does not carry organic meat. Not they only have a limited selection. Not they only carry organic meat from a certain animal. Nope. They just don't carry it. There was a decent selection of organic milk, but I didn't find any organic cheese. They did have certified humane eggs, though. Eggs really are pretty cheap, so even if I'm spending $4 for a dozen, that's still only 25 cents for one egg. A 50 cent dinner.
Even though in some ways I feel like I have no idea what I am doing, I do know that this will eventually be a healthier way to live, even if it is more expensive. I also think it will cause me to waste less, because it is so expensive. I don't have a hard time throwing away half a bag of carrots that came from Aldi for less than a dollar. I don't think I can say the same for the bag I purchased for over twice that price. Those carrots will get gone.
This afternoon, I made some granola cups from a recipe my aunt gave me a few years ago. Most of the ingredients were not organic. Actually, I don't think any of them were. The dried fruit did come from Whole Foods, but that was it.
Mix together:
3 C oats (rolled, not instant)
1 C cereal (she recommended cheerios; I used cheerios medley because that was what I had)
1 C dried fruit (I used dried cranberries)
1 C toasted nuts (I used toasted almond slivers)
1/2 C mini chocolate chips
1/2 tsp kosher salt (I just used a pinch of regular salt)
1/2 Tbsp cinnamon
1/4 C melted butter
1 can fat free sweetened condensed milk
4 Tbsp peanut butter (this was my addition)
Once all ingredients are mixed, pour mixture into muffin pans that have liners that have been thoroughly sprayed with oil. Bake for 18 minutes. Makes about 24.
Yum.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Laughter
I was supposed to hang out with best friend today (er, well, yesterday), but he got sick. Some sort of intestinal/stomach bug thing. I was texting him and started to say, "I'm sorry you feel like crap." I stopped. And literally loled. Then I told him the whole thought process. He said he literally loled as well.
This afternoon, I went by the daycare. Wednesdays are ice cream days and one of the girls got a choco taco which has nuts in it (which she is mildly allergic to), so she sort of peeled them off. Somehow, one of the other girls grabbed a chunk of them to show to somebody and put them in front of the first girl's face (the one that is allergic), and then that girl was like, "get those nuts out of my face!" Baha. I had to contain my laughter.
One of the girls asked why I hadn't come to see them more (I have been to see them twice since I left). I told her I wasn't in town much and had probably only been back about five times since I moved. She was like, "Wait, a minute. You've only been to see us twice." It was really cute. Oh, I miss them.
This evening, brother 1 came over to watch Duck Dynasty, and we ended up watching several old episodes as well, including the one where Si gets a hunting dog. Ohmygracious, I thought he was going to die because he was laughing so hard/quit breathing. My mom and I were both in tears. I had seen the episode before, but watching it with him was, in the words of Tony the Tiger, grrrrrrrreat!
Oh what a gift laughter is.
This afternoon, I went by the daycare. Wednesdays are ice cream days and one of the girls got a choco taco which has nuts in it (which she is mildly allergic to), so she sort of peeled them off. Somehow, one of the other girls grabbed a chunk of them to show to somebody and put them in front of the first girl's face (the one that is allergic), and then that girl was like, "get those nuts out of my face!" Baha. I had to contain my laughter.
One of the girls asked why I hadn't come to see them more (I have been to see them twice since I left). I told her I wasn't in town much and had probably only been back about five times since I moved. She was like, "Wait, a minute. You've only been to see us twice." It was really cute. Oh, I miss them.
This evening, brother 1 came over to watch Duck Dynasty, and we ended up watching several old episodes as well, including the one where Si gets a hunting dog. Ohmygracious, I thought he was going to die because he was laughing so hard/quit breathing. My mom and I were both in tears. I had seen the episode before, but watching it with him was, in the words of Tony the Tiger, grrrrrrrreat!
Oh what a gift laughter is.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Home
After I got off work today, I drove the two hours it takes to get home to spend the remainder of my spring break here. It always just feels right to be here. To be in the house and in the city I grew up in. To be around some of my favorite people. I had dinner tonight with one of my high school friends and her husband, which was so much fun. I hadn't seen them since Christmas, so it was fantastic to spend a little bit of time with the two of them. Tomorrow, I'm meeting up with my best friend in the city that is about halfway between here and there to spend the morning and early afternoon together. I.can't.wait. Then, I'm going to go by the daycare to see my old kids who I have missed like crazy (and also because one of my assignments in my counseling children and adolescents class is to observe some children). Thursday, I'm going to practice making pound cake cupcakes for brother 2 and sister-in-law 2's wedding, including making lemon buttercream and mango buttercream. It should definitely be an interesting experience since I've never mad pound cake cupcakes or anything other than chocolate or vanilla buttercream. Friday, my mom and I have eye doctor appointments and then have some shopping to do. I'm not sure what Saturday will entail, but Sunday will involve sister-in-law 3's birthday party. At some point, I'll have to return to reality, but until then, I thoroughly intend to enjoy my time here.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Very Liberating
In high school, one of my friends told me about this website called Very Liberating. Essentially, you can post whatever you want (within reason, of course) anonymously. Each post has a number, so if you know what the number of a given post is, you can retrace it. In high school and my early college years, I wrote down most of my liberation numbers. I came across the list this morning, and since I am officially on spring break (WOOHOO!), I figured reading my old liberations would be a great way to spend a Friday night.
One of the first things I realized is how immature I was. Ohmygoodness. I'm sure I'll look back in 7-15 years and think about how immature I am now.
One of my liberations, though, was really thought provoking. I'm not entirely sure what was going on, but I kind of love what my 18-year-old self said.
"I feel like I'm only running in circles that are pushing me closer to what I never wanted to become, and further away from the thing I want most."
I could take a gander at what the thing I wanted most was, although I am not certain it's what I'm thinking it is. I have no idea what the rest was about, though. In some ways, I think it's better that way.
One of the first things I realized is how immature I was. Ohmygoodness. I'm sure I'll look back in 7-15 years and think about how immature I am now.
One of my liberations, though, was really thought provoking. I'm not entirely sure what was going on, but I kind of love what my 18-year-old self said.
"I feel like I'm only running in circles that are pushing me closer to what I never wanted to become, and further away from the thing I want most."
I could take a gander at what the thing I wanted most was, although I am not certain it's what I'm thinking it is. I have no idea what the rest was about, though. In some ways, I think it's better that way.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Cutting up mangoes
Every time I cut up a mango, I secretly wonder if it will be the last time I have all 10 fingers. They are so slippery! I know there are ways to cut them that aren't quite as slippery (like the porcupine method), but I was cutting it up for my lunch smoothie and didn't need tiny pieces. Plus, I find that method kind of tedious.
I was thinking about how I could write a post about cutting up mangoes and how, if I was a comical type, could probably make it really funny. Then I started thinking about how a lot of people that know me think I have a good sense of humor. I don't get it, because I don't think I'm funny. When I try to be, I tend to hear crickets chirp in the background. I do find a lot of things funny, though, and I do have kind of a funny laugh. The funny kind that people comment on because they enjoy it. Not the funny kind that people ignore because they find it annoying. Mostly, at least. As I was thinking through all of this, I thought back to a childhood "friend" who regularly reminded me how annoying my laugh was. As I started thinking about that friend and the life we lived together (we were friends from the time were three until we graduated high school, although the middle school years were a little rocky), I realized that, in most ways, she was never my friend. Not really, at least.
The weird thing is, I had never thought about it before today. I've thought about the fact that I don't talk to her anymore. About the fact that it has been three years since I last saw her at a wedding where we exchanged a few sentences. The awkward pleasantries you have with people you no longer talk to. If I had to name one person who I grew up with, it would be her. And I've thought about that. But until today, I have never once thought about the fact that this person that was my "friend" for fifteen years of my life was never actually my friend.
Looking at it in retrospect, it seems so obvious. Thinking about it now, it makes so much sense why I have a weird inferiority complex when it comes to friends. Reminding me how, in so many ways, it only takes one person to change everything.
Reminding me, too, how grateful I am to have another friend that has been there for nearly as long, and has always, without fail or doubt, been a friend. That has been and will always be the one person in my life that I can go to. No matter how much time it has been since we spoke or how many miles separate us, she and I always pick up where we left off.
So here's to still having 10 fingers after cutting up a mango. But really, here's to friends, the real ones. The ones that you meet as an awkward and unsuspecting nine-year-old in a sewing class, never knowing that all these years later, she would be the person that was, is, and will always be my friend.
I was thinking about how I could write a post about cutting up mangoes and how, if I was a comical type, could probably make it really funny. Then I started thinking about how a lot of people that know me think I have a good sense of humor. I don't get it, because I don't think I'm funny. When I try to be, I tend to hear crickets chirp in the background. I do find a lot of things funny, though, and I do have kind of a funny laugh. The funny kind that people comment on because they enjoy it. Not the funny kind that people ignore because they find it annoying. Mostly, at least. As I was thinking through all of this, I thought back to a childhood "friend" who regularly reminded me how annoying my laugh was. As I started thinking about that friend and the life we lived together (we were friends from the time were three until we graduated high school, although the middle school years were a little rocky), I realized that, in most ways, she was never my friend. Not really, at least.
The weird thing is, I had never thought about it before today. I've thought about the fact that I don't talk to her anymore. About the fact that it has been three years since I last saw her at a wedding where we exchanged a few sentences. The awkward pleasantries you have with people you no longer talk to. If I had to name one person who I grew up with, it would be her. And I've thought about that. But until today, I have never once thought about the fact that this person that was my "friend" for fifteen years of my life was never actually my friend.
Looking at it in retrospect, it seems so obvious. Thinking about it now, it makes so much sense why I have a weird inferiority complex when it comes to friends. Reminding me how, in so many ways, it only takes one person to change everything.
Reminding me, too, how grateful I am to have another friend that has been there for nearly as long, and has always, without fail or doubt, been a friend. That has been and will always be the one person in my life that I can go to. No matter how much time it has been since we spoke or how many miles separate us, she and I always pick up where we left off.
So here's to still having 10 fingers after cutting up a mango. But really, here's to friends, the real ones. The ones that you meet as an awkward and unsuspecting nine-year-old in a sewing class, never knowing that all these years later, she would be the person that was, is, and will always be my friend.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
I miss you!
Writing, I miss you!
I often choose not to write because I believe that I do not have anything significant to say. Which, frankly, is kind of silly because nobody reads this blog. Even if they did, my purpose was never to write things that other people find entertaining or enjoyable. My purpose was to write with honesty.
Tonight, my usual Tuesday night class was canceled, but I had to meet with one of my classmates to go over a presentation we have in our class tomorrow. We're presenting how to make art journals and how to use them when counseling children/adolescents. I'm really excited about it. Or, you know, as excited as one can be about a presentation. I love the idea of art journals, though.
After discussing that and watching a few youtube videos (this one of the worst version of the National Anthem you have ever heard, this one of a hair tutorial gone wrong that sister-in-law 2 posted on facebook that made me cry I was laughing so hard, and this one of goats yelling like people), I went to the newly reopened pool at the campus recreation center. It was closed from December until about two weeks ago for repairs. I'm so glad it's back open now. Swimming is one of my favorite ways to exercise, plus it burns a ridiculous amount of calories in a relatively short period of time. It basically burns over twice the calories of walking in the same period of time. I'll take that! Plus I swam from the summer before my 9th birthday until the summer after I graduated high school. While I was swimming, I was thinking about how many hours of my life had been spent in swim practice or working out in a pool (as opposed to going to the pool to play). I would say I have easily, EASILY, spent two months of my life swimming. Weird. Also pretty crazy that after about half an hour of swimming, I am pretty tired when I think about the fact that in high school, 90-120 minute practices were the norm. Granted, part of that time was usually spent doing abs and/or running, but still.
I could swim longer than 30 minutes, but there is no way I could swim for an hour and a half to two hours.
Anyhow, I can't seem to stop yawning, and I need to start reading for my Measurement and Assessment class on Thursday night.
I often choose not to write because I believe that I do not have anything significant to say. Which, frankly, is kind of silly because nobody reads this blog. Even if they did, my purpose was never to write things that other people find entertaining or enjoyable. My purpose was to write with honesty.
Tonight, my usual Tuesday night class was canceled, but I had to meet with one of my classmates to go over a presentation we have in our class tomorrow. We're presenting how to make art journals and how to use them when counseling children/adolescents. I'm really excited about it. Or, you know, as excited as one can be about a presentation. I love the idea of art journals, though.
After discussing that and watching a few youtube videos (this one of the worst version of the National Anthem you have ever heard, this one of a hair tutorial gone wrong that sister-in-law 2 posted on facebook that made me cry I was laughing so hard, and this one of goats yelling like people), I went to the newly reopened pool at the campus recreation center. It was closed from December until about two weeks ago for repairs. I'm so glad it's back open now. Swimming is one of my favorite ways to exercise, plus it burns a ridiculous amount of calories in a relatively short period of time. It basically burns over twice the calories of walking in the same period of time. I'll take that! Plus I swam from the summer before my 9th birthday until the summer after I graduated high school. While I was swimming, I was thinking about how many hours of my life had been spent in swim practice or working out in a pool (as opposed to going to the pool to play). I would say I have easily, EASILY, spent two months of my life swimming. Weird. Also pretty crazy that after about half an hour of swimming, I am pretty tired when I think about the fact that in high school, 90-120 minute practices were the norm. Granted, part of that time was usually spent doing abs and/or running, but still.
I could swim longer than 30 minutes, but there is no way I could swim for an hour and a half to two hours.
Anyhow, I can't seem to stop yawning, and I need to start reading for my Measurement and Assessment class on Thursday night.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Not as they seem
As I shared in my last post, sometimes I want to write but don't know what to write about. This is one of those times.
I woke up this morning to an incredibly cloudy, dreary looking day. It was one of those mornings where it just looks cold. The kind where all you really want to do is stay cuddled under the covers all day. And let's be honest, I almost did. Eventually, I muddled my way out of bed and got ready for and went to church. It was flurrying when I left.
The clouds and dreariness have lifted. It is a beautiful, though unseasonably cold, March day. Just a reminder that sometimes, perhaps often, things are not as they originally seem.
I woke up this morning to an incredibly cloudy, dreary looking day. It was one of those mornings where it just looks cold. The kind where all you really want to do is stay cuddled under the covers all day. And let's be honest, I almost did. Eventually, I muddled my way out of bed and got ready for and went to church. It was flurrying when I left.
The clouds and dreariness have lifted. It is a beautiful, though unseasonably cold, March day. Just a reminder that sometimes, perhaps often, things are not as they originally seem.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Healthier
Sometimes I'll sit down to start writing, but stop because I don't know what to say. Actually, that's a pretty frequent occurrence. I want to write. It's important to me, and I think it is beneficial for me psychologically. Plus, going back and rereading past things I have written is so fun/crazy/weird. It's kind of funny to think about because in elementary school I haaaaaaated writing. I despised it, which is probably evident now in my not-so-great handwriting. I don't have anything in particular to write about right now, so I'm just going to write about what has been going on in my life.
Last week, I went to one of those walk in clinics at a drug store to get checked out. I hadn't been feeling well and was running a 100+ degree temperature, which is unusual for me, especially given the fact that my regular temperature is usually around 97 degrees. Essentially I had a cold that had developed an ear infection. I also had high blood pressure. I wasn't super shocked. I hadn't exercised in quite a while and my eating habits hadn't been the greatest. Plus I'm overweight anyway. I would imagine that being sick probably didn't help matters either, but I don't know that for sure.
On Monday, I got an email from WeightWatchers. I have done it several times before with success, but have just never stuck with it for the long haul. They were having free registration if you signed up for 3 months (I think they have it all the time, actually). Given my blood pressure, brother 2's wedding in just over two months, and the fact that it's just not healthy, I decided to join again. When I started, I was about 18 lbs away from my lowest (adult) weight, which I was at last Aprilish. I'm not sure if it's realistic to want to be there again by this April. Even if it's April 30th because that's only about 8.5 weeks away. No, I guess that is realistic. That's right at 2 pounds/week. I can do that!
I've been making smoothies galore the last few days. They are usually:
4-6 oz milk
6 oz yogurt
strawberries
banana
1 cup(ish) spinach
and a few other things at times.
Last night for dinner I added 1/4 cup of oats and 2 tsps of canola oil (I'm supposed to have 2 tsps of "healthy" oil each day). I've added ice before as well to thicken it up, but I keep my apartment on the chilly side (62.5 degrees), so I have no desire to drink anything any colder than is necessary.
I'm excited to get back on track and to be on the way to a healthier me!
Last week, I went to one of those walk in clinics at a drug store to get checked out. I hadn't been feeling well and was running a 100+ degree temperature, which is unusual for me, especially given the fact that my regular temperature is usually around 97 degrees. Essentially I had a cold that had developed an ear infection. I also had high blood pressure. I wasn't super shocked. I hadn't exercised in quite a while and my eating habits hadn't been the greatest. Plus I'm overweight anyway. I would imagine that being sick probably didn't help matters either, but I don't know that for sure.
On Monday, I got an email from WeightWatchers. I have done it several times before with success, but have just never stuck with it for the long haul. They were having free registration if you signed up for 3 months (I think they have it all the time, actually). Given my blood pressure, brother 2's wedding in just over two months, and the fact that it's just not healthy, I decided to join again. When I started, I was about 18 lbs away from my lowest (adult) weight, which I was at last Aprilish. I'm not sure if it's realistic to want to be there again by this April. Even if it's April 30th because that's only about 8.5 weeks away. No, I guess that is realistic. That's right at 2 pounds/week. I can do that!
I've been making smoothies galore the last few days. They are usually:
4-6 oz milk
6 oz yogurt
strawberries
banana
1 cup(ish) spinach
and a few other things at times.
Last night for dinner I added 1/4 cup of oats and 2 tsps of canola oil (I'm supposed to have 2 tsps of "healthy" oil each day). I've added ice before as well to thicken it up, but I keep my apartment on the chilly side (62.5 degrees), so I have no desire to drink anything any colder than is necessary.
I'm excited to get back on track and to be on the way to a healthier me!
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