Grandpa

The other night when brothers 1 and 2 were over in addition to brother 2's new girlfriend, we watched a few old home videos. Most of them had multiple events. One of them was my first Thanksgiving at my grandma and grandpa's house. I was a few months old and was propped up in a baby recliner type thing. Grandpa was down on the floor, finger in my hand talking to and playing with me. My mom said how sweet it was. And as I started to tear up, I agreed. It's been about a year and a half since he died. By the time I was old enough to really remember him well, he was starting to get fairly frail, even though he was active well up into his 90's. It was a sweet reminder to see how he loved me as a baby. That he was able to get down and "play" with me, even though I have few memories of him doing that. The last time I saw him was at Thanksgiving 21 years later. He asked me if I was enjoying school. I said I was, and he said he was glad because he knew that enjoying what you're doing is a big part of life. And the other thing he said to me was that he was proud of me. I had never heard those words come from his mouth before, and when he said them I knew he knew the same thing that I knew. He knew he would never see me again. And he, as always, was right.

Pet peeves

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people fail to follow through with what they say they will do or agree upon. I understand that sometimes things happen and plans must be canceled. It happens. But when it happens, isn't it common courtesy to let the person you had said plans with know that what you had planned will no longer work? You would think. Apparently a few of my friends are not aware of that. One of my friends who I haven't seen in over a month and I were planning on lunch tomorrow. I texted her this evening asking what her thoughts were about tomorrow (when and where). Her response?

"Oh, I'm doing X because Y." And granted, X is something has to be done, and Y is a legitimate reason to be doing it tomorrow, but you would think that would have crossed her mind at some point in her life.

Maybe I notice it more than other people because I tend to remember things that other people might forget (like plans made over a week ahead), but that doesn't change that it frustrates me. I think the main reason it bothers me is that it feels like they're telling me, "you're not worth the time it takes to tell you that I can't do something, so I'll let you ask me yourself so I don't have to inconvenience myself."

Memories at the beach

"One day you're in diapers, the next you're gone, but the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul." -The Wonder Years

This afternoon while at a minor league baseball game, I got a text from brother 2. He is at the beach speaking (or maybe he's doing music, I don't know) for a youth camp, and he drove by the camp ground/beach area my grandparents used to own a mobile home at. He asked if I wanted to come play mini golf and hunt sharks teeth, which is what we spent much of our time doing when we went to the beach. I couldn't help but go back in time to those warm spring days and the blazing summer afternoons. Trying to get a hole in one on the mini golf course on the right hole in order to get a free round to save for the next day. Swimming in the indoor pool because the outdoor one was always too crowded. Riding around in a golf cart to get where we needed to go. Playing games with my cousins. I miss that. Miss the family togetherness and the simpler times.

They sold it when I was about eight. I'm sure I would have a hard time recognizing it now. Fourteen years later. It's hard to believe it's been that long since I stepped on that warm sand, stayed up talking to my cousin, and woke up to the glass of orange juice that was always at each place setting if my Papa was around.

It's amazing how childhood memories have a way of shaping you, of changing you. Of taking you back into a simpler time and a simpler place. Reminding you that without what happened then, you wouldn't be who you are now. And there is something about that that is nothing short of incredible.

It IS enough!

I often catch myself singing along with songs while listening to music on my computer, ipod, on the radio, etc. A lot of the time I don't even realize that I'm doing it. This evening, the song "Your Grace Is Enough" by Chris Tomlin began playing on my computer, and I started singing along. And I stopped. And I thought. I'm over here singing,

"Your grace is enough,
Your grace is enough,
Your grace is enough for me."

And I'm not sure that I always believe it. Not sure that I live in a way that says His grace is enough. I want to live that way.

Earlier this afternoon I was in kind of a predicament, which I won't get into (for the same reason I wouldn't get into stuff in my last post). God provided a way out. I didn't deserve a way out. The predicament wasn't completely out of my control. But God in His grace provided one for me.

His grace IS enough! Thankfully. Because this life I live? Yeah, I can't do it on my own.

Upside down, backwards, crazy world

Sometimes, people do really ridiculous things for reasons beyond my anybody with any common sense's comprehension. I don't want to go into details, because as silly as this seems as an anonymous blogger, anybody that knows me personally wouldn't have a hard time figuring out my identity if the were to ever stumble across this page, and I don't want "name calling" to come back and bite me later on.

Truly, though, I sometimes think people make things unnecessarily difficult on purpose. I often catch myself saying, "that would make too much sense" or, "that would be too easy," because I have come to realize that it is frowned upon to make things simple when they can be made difficult or to do things in a logical way when they can be made ridiculously complicated.

We live in an upside down, backwards, crazy world.

Cooking fail

I believe I said several posts back I was going to post about my cooking/crafting adventures with the kids I work with. Today was the first one. It was kind of atrocious. We made cut out cookies. By the time we got all the dough to all of the kids, let them pick a cookie cutter, and got the cookies into the oven, the dough had warmed up and it made the cookies kind of go all over the place. A lot of the fun animal shapes turned into blobs. Next time (you know, the one that there won't be), I'll pre-portion the cookie dough instead of having to go back and give each kid extra, which caused extra kneading/shaping, making the dough warm. I think the kids still enjoyed it for the most part, which is what is important.

Hopefully the sandpaper art next week will go better. I guess I should probably try it first before I try to instruct 30-something kids on how to do it.