Blows my mind

The way God works things out sometimes is really astounding to me.


Rewind back to last fall when I, as part of my school counseling program, had to do shadowing at all three levels of schools (elementary, middle, and high) because I do not have a teaching degree. I got placed at this amazing little school about 15 minutes from where I live. It has incredible teachers, really great students, and just has a really great environment. It's so small that there are only two classes for each grade. I was placed in a 1st grade class where I spent about 45 hours with the type of teacher I would want my child(ren) to have and 15 really sweet six- and seven- year olds.

Early in the spring semester, I interviewed the principal at that school regarding her interactions with their school counselor for one of my classes. I had met her, but did not have much interaction with her prior to that. She was incredibly kind to me and told me that if there was ever anything she or the school could do to help me to just let her know.

Fast forward to earlier this week when brother 3, who has been looking for a job for months. MONTHS, had an interview at said elementary school. He wanted a job in music in higher ed, but because he continually could not get a job, he started a program to get an education certificate (or whatever it is called for somebody that already has a degree) so he could teach K-12 as well.

Can you guess who interviewed him? The principal, obviously, but can you guess who the ONLY other person in that interview was? Yep, the teacher I was with last fall, who evidently said to tell me hello.

I know it may be coincidence, but I don't really believe in coincidences. Brother 3 said this was the only interview he has had where they have contacted him first (all the others, he has called and talked to and then at that point, they offered one). He has a really good resume, but I cannot help but wonder if name recognition played part of it (we have a particularly uncommon last name). Not necessarily to get him the job; that was all him (and God, obviously), but that last name certainly may have gotten his foot in the door.

It's just amazing to me that of all the elementary schools in this county (probably at least 60), I got placed in one that would need a new music teacher the following year, and all of the other hundreds of circumstances that lead the two of us to the same city. It blows my mind.

Easier said than done

I often get the urge to write, but rarely know what to write about. When I was out of town last week for the wedding and the beach, I took several books with me. I obviously set the bar too high, because I only got through one. Granted, part of that is because there was not a single second to spare for the first four days. The book I read is a book I've read at least twice before. It's also a young adult book, which is perhaps a little embarrassing, but hey. I generally find quotes or phrases I like when I read, regardless of what I am reading. This book was no different.

"The people who know you best can be riskier, because the words they say and the things they think have the potential to be not only scary but true, as well." -Just Listen

After the wedding when we were back at the house we had rented for a few days, I texted my best friend and had a small melt down. Melt downs are what I do best, especially to him. This is part of what I said.

There is something about weddings that makes me think about my life and what I want to do and where I am going in a way that nothing else does, and while it is good, it is also really hard. I always see all these girls with these amazing guys that treat them so well and that are so perfect for them, and some days, most days, it feels like I will not ever have that and it is really, really hard. And I know it is silly saying this to you knowing that soon, probably sooner than I am ready, that is going to be you. I am going to be lying on a couch at the end of the night after my best friend's wedding wondering if someday I might actually, finally, find someone that loves me. And that? That is really hard.

He has been dating this girl for a few months now, and even though I haven't met her yet, I can just sort of tell. I've actually never met any of his girlfriends. Mostly because he has never let me or wanted me to. With the exception of a friend of mine he dated shortly after we met, but we were 14, so I don't think that actually counts. He wants me to meet this girl though. It's really weird to know that at this time next year he could, potentially, be engaged.

Not being in a relationship is both difficult and a blessing. It's difficult for all the obvious reasons, I guess. Being alone in a still relatively unfamiliar city, and while I do have friends now, none of them are ones I am close enough to just to call on a moment's notice to hang out or come over. Not that they wouldn't if there was an emergency, and of course I have brother and sister-in-law 3 on the other side of town for emergencies as well. Part of it is the fear that I won't ever have that. Meeting people isn't my strong suit. I'm not very outgoing, so most of the people I meet are people I do things with. Meaning most all of the people I am friends with here are people I am in school with, and guys make up probably about 10% of my program, if that. And of them, about half are either married or older (like old enough to, in theory, be my parent). I know I am fine without being in a relationship and that I do not need a guy to make me happy. That is silly. The truth is, though, that I do have that desire in my heart, plus I have always wanted to have children. The flip side is that I am in no way tied down whatsoever. When I graduate in a year and a half, chances are pretty slim that I will find a job here. In fact, chances are pretty slim that I will find a job at all initially, but the fact that I am free to pick up and move at a moment's notice will be good.

There is a quote/picture thing floating around that says, "Faith in God includes faith in his timing." Indeed it does. But as with so many other things in life, it's easier said than done.

Update

I have got to start writing again. So often there are things I want to say, but don't know how to other than to write.

The wedding went off without a hitch. Except for the fact that they didn't have a rehearsal because of torrential downpours. I think sister-in-law 2 (who is actually my sister-in-law now, yay!) kind of had a break down. Not that I blame her. The weather ended up being absolutely amazing on Saturday evening. I think it is safe to say that we were all exhausted by the time things were said and done Saturday night.

It started Wednesday with an 80 minute flight, which took so long to get off the plane that our luggage was waiting for us at baggage claim. We ate dinner with brother 2 and sister-in-law 2 as well as her aunt. Thursday, we spent about 5 hours grocery shopping. After that, I made cupcakes and all that entailed, and began working on the peanut butter ball. Thursday morning, I cut up fruits and vegetables, made fruit and vegetable dip, finished the peanut butter ball, put everything in bowls/on platters, and made the juice part of the mimosas.

Our menu (which I ended up being really pleased with and stupidly did not take pictures of) was:

DIY deli sandwiches (chicken, ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, mustard, and mayo)
Fruit (Strawberries, grapes, cantaloupe, and pineapple)
Fruit dip (Mixture of cream cheese and marshmallow fluff)
Vegetables (Baby carrots, grape tomatoes, cucumber slices, red peppers, green peppers, broccoli, and celery)
Vegetable dip (Plain greek yogurt mixed with Hidden Valley dip packets)
Peanut butter ball with apples and mini graham crackers
Tortilla chips
Pita chips
Pretzels
Guacamole
Hummus (garlic lovers and red pepper)
Salsa
Blushing Mimosas

The peanut butter ball and the mimosas were probably my favorite, but everything was good (I thought). Sister-in-law 2's aunt said several times how good it was for her to have a few hours just to chill out, so I am really glad we did it even if it was a lot of work.

After the wedding and a few days at the beach, I am finally back home. I love vacation and I love being away, but I am always ready to come home as well.

I have a week before summer school starts. I have to work some between now and then, but I fully intend to enjoy my last week of freedom.

In the mean time, I need to clean, unpack, do laundry, and grocery shop.